Chapter 21: Origin

I can’t say for sure when it started.

Was it when the spirit Mel created swallowed the Salamandra I controlled?
Or when Ara devised a way to give substance to the shadow of his Shadow Double’s shadow?
Or perhaps…it was when I heard that Inis had mastered the very immortality I once longed for so desperately.

I had, halfway at least, given up on trying to understand every last part of Sorcery.

Sorcery is something anyone can handle, yields exactly the same effect no matter who uses it, and can be passed on to others. That revolutionary technology has specialized and advanced in each field.

Magic in this world is made of names.
A superior magic‑user is, in other words, someone who knows more names.

But sorcerers are different. They can generate and forge new names themselves.
An excellent sorcerer is one who can create new concepts unbound by fixed ideas—
that is to say, someone who holds a greater store of unknowns.

The unknown isn’t merely what you don’t know.
It lies beyond the knowledge you have now—the knowledge you’ve yet to reach.

And my knowledge, at its base, is limited to what I remember from my previous life.
That knowledge isn’t connected to this world’s “from here on.”
Now that the advantage of my past‑life knowledge is gone, I’m nothing more than a Stone‑Age magic‑user.

「You look bored out of your skull.」

Brooding on such things, I was startled when a voice suddenly addressed me and I looked up.

「Nina…aren’t you on duty?」
「Day off. I worked myself half to death yesterday.」

Yawning, she answered and flopped onto the bed. Because of the treatment of victims brought in from yesterday’s fire, Nina hadn’t gotten home until after midnight.

「What about you—don’t you need to go to the university?」
「…Not really.」

Honestly, even if I go to the university there’s almost nothing left I can teach. The students are all brilliant—their Sorcery is far ahead of mine.

「You don’t like the village’s development?」
「Of course not. I’m delighted by it.」

That is my unvarnished truth. Though there’s a faint loneliness in seeing the people of Hiiro no longer need my hand, the joy outweighs it.

「It’s just…thinking I can’t be useful anymore—that’s sad.」
「Were you ever that useful to begin with?」

When I let a little self‑pity slip, a harsh retort came back.

「I did… sort of… I think…」

When Nina says it like that, I start to lose confidence.

「Well, compared to you—saving so many as a physician—I suppose I can’t complain if you say that.」

At my words, Nina made a strange face—as if she had something to say but couldn’t find the right words.

「It’s not like I…do this because I want to be useful. Humans die someday anyway… I just think they shouldn’t die so soon, that’s all.」

Nina spoke haltingly. Unlike me she can do anything deftly, but she’s bad at putting thoughts into words. It felt like she was trying hard to tell me something.

「So your ‘wanting to be useful’… that’s not it for me. If my job goes away, that’s better.」

For Nina’s job to disappear would mean no injuries and no illness. That is indeed one ideal. And me…? Could I really say it would be better if the people of Hiiro no longer needed my hand?

「…No. I don’t think I can be as clear‑cut about it as you.」

I thought a moment and answered so. I’m happy Hiiro is progressing—that’s certain.
But asked whether I’m happier to have nothing left I can do…that’s just as certainly a no.

「Hey—this isn’t about me right now!」

With that, Nina spoke as if angry.
Uh, wha—? What does that mean? Weren’t we just talking about her?

「Come on… how many years do you think we’ve been together? Figure out what I’m trying to say.」
「Sorry—going on nine hundred fifty‑five years, but I still don’t know.」

Saying the number out loud, I was struck anew—has it really been that long? A span long enough to live my previous life ten times over. For so long, Nina has stayed with me, running the magic school and supporting Hiiro…

Huh?

Just now, a sense of dissonance skimmed my mind. What was it?

「Roughly a thousand years. That’s not short even for an elf, but…thanks for sticking with me.」
「Well, it beats staying in that forest. At least with you I’m not bored.」

Nina smiled as she said it.

「So—what are you doing next?」

The instant I heard that, a shock like lightning ran through me.

「I see… so that’s it!」

A laugh welled up from deep in my throat.

「Nina, thank you! I remembered!」
「H‑hey, wait—!?」

I couldn’t help myself—I hugged Nina tight, and that wasn’t enough, so I scooped up her light body.

「I forgot… how could I have forgotten something so simple!」
「W‑what—what is it!?」

Holding her, I spun round and round and shouted.
The strange, cloud‑like gloom that had filled my heart a moment ago vanished completely, leaving me clear and buoyant.

「Okay, stop already!」

Her hand‑edge jabbed my brow, threw off my balance, and we toppled together onto the bed.

「…So? What did you forget?」
「The reason I was born into this world.」

Staring into Nina’s eyes right in front of me, I answered.

Yes. I’d had it backwards all along.

「I didn’t research magic and build a school to develop Hiiro. I built a school so I could research magic.」

Mysteries.

Things wondrous.

Riddles unsolved.

Chasing impossible happenings, heart‑racing experiences, the frayed edges of an endless world—I came all the way to a different one!

Sorcery is convenient. Anyone can use it, it produces exactly the same effect whoever uses it, and it can be handed to others. That revolutionary technology will rocket civilization forward and make this world richer and more comfortable. That goes without saying—it’s wonderful, and surely overflowing with romance too.

But it’s dull.

It isn’t interesting. Because—at that point—it’s the same as science.

If I could be interested in that, I wouldn’t be here now.

「That’s it.」

With a soft tap, Nina pressed her nose and forehead to mine and deepened her smile.

「That face. The one you make when you’re about to say something ridiculous. You look so, so happy.」

Her blue eyes sparkled, reflecting my face.

「Keep that face…always. I’ll help however I can.」
「Ni—na…」

Overcome, I tightened the arm I had around her shoulders.

「I’m home!」
「Whoa!」

At that moment Chryse’s voice sounded, and we both sprang up off the bed.

「Daddy, Nina‑san, I’m home—!」
「Ah—uh, welcome home, Chryse.」
「You’re…quite early today.」

I answered, trying to look calm, as Chryse poked her head into the bedroom.

「Yes—research doesn’t really move along without you, Daddy. And going to school by myself when you weren’t there felt kind of silly, so I came home.」

She looks every bit a child, but Chryse is already sixty. She graduated elementary school ages ago and now works at the university—making her, oddly enough, a colleague of Ara and the others.

「Anyway—」

Chryse bent at the waist to lower her gaze and peered up into Nina’s face as she sat on the bed.

「Nina‑san, your face is red—are you okay?」
「I’m fine. Just got a little hot.」
「Eeh… it’s winter, you know…?」

With a puzzled look, Chryse glanced my way, as if to check.

「It’s nothing. She said it was cold and asked me to raise the temperature, so I did—and overdid it, that’s all.」
「I see. Daddy, you’re bad at moderation—please be careful, okay?」

Right—nothing at all.
Nina had just helped me when I’d lost sight of my purpose, and we’d reaffirmed our friendship.
That’s all there was to it.

There’s no way anything romantic would sprout between us now.

Because—

she turned me down ages ago.