Chapter 28: Innocent Girl

「I’m home—...」
「Welcome back.」

When I answered Chryse’s voice from the entryway, she didn’t even poke her head into the living room and went straight to her room. The soft patan of her door closing echoed hollowly.

「…That’s a serious case.」

It had been a few days since Ara confessed to Nina. She’d been like this the whole time.
I suppose Chryse probably liked Ara. If you get rejected right in front of you because he confesses to another woman, of course you’d be crushed.

I’m not sure which of them is luckier—Inis, who knows nothing about any of this and cheerfully throws herself into research as usual, or Chryse.

「I’ll go have a word with Chryse.」
「…Mm.」

Speaking of being down—her too. Nina was the same.
Normally she’d scold me to stop doing unnecessary things or something like that, but her replies were short and distant, as if her mind were elsewhere. Even her hobby embroidery sat abandoned half‑finished on the desk; she hugged her knees and stared into space.

「Nina.」
「Nnya… wh-what!」

I grabbed her cheek and gave it a good yank. Oh. It stretches a lot. She’s lived over a thousand years, yet her cheeks are as squishy as a baby’s. Elves are amazing.

「…Cut it out. I’m not in the mood for that right now.」

Nina knocked my hand away and lowered her eyes.

「Nina. Are you happy right now?」
「…What’s that supposed to mean?」

In a lifeless tone, Nina asked.

「I don’t mean anything that deep. If you’ve got work enough not to be bored every day, food isn’t a problem, and there isn’t anything you absolutely have to change or any suffering you can’t stand… then I think it’s fair to call that happiness.」
「Well… if you put it like that, I’m not… suffering, no.」

I nodded. “Mm.”

「Then that’s fine, isn’t it?」
「…Is it?」

Her blue eyes finally met mine. As if to take my measure, she stared at me in silence.

「At the very least, I’m happy. Just like this.」

I set my hand lightly on Nina’s head and stroked her hair.
Nina let out the faintest breath and accepted it.

「…Alright. I’ll go comfort our little princess.」
「Don’t go saying anything unnecessary.」

I let go, and her scolding flew back at once; I smiled and nodded.


* * *


「Chryse, got a minute?」
「Eh—w-wait, please give me a second!」

I knocked; there was a flurry of sounds from inside.

「P-please, come in!」
「I’m coming in. Sorry—were you in the middle of changing?」

I asked as I opened the door, but Chryse’s clothes were the same as when she’d gone out.

「N-no! It’s fine!」

She kept shaking her head, but her gaze kept darting toward the bed—more specifically, under it.

…Should I pretend I didn’t see that?
When you hide something under the bed, there’s a classic you think of. The so‑called dirty magazines. Chryse is at that age, so having an interest in that sort of thing wouldn’t be strange… at that age? When exactly is Chryse’s age…? Come to think of it she’s already nearly a hundred, but she looks about fourteen.

Either way, having an interest wouldn’t be odd—but what I was more curious about was what she was hiding, because Hiiro still doesn’t have letterpress printing.

In this world where the Spirit Principle governs, automating a sequence of motions is particularly difficult. Letterpress itself shouldn’t be that hard technically, so I tried it when we first made paper, but it never worked right and I gave up.

So books are still expensive, and there shouldn’t be such a thing as mass‑market magazines. That said, technology marches on day by day. It wouldn’t be strange if something like that had been invented without my noticing.

「Th-there’s nothing there!?」

Noticing where I was looking, Chryse spread her arms as if to shield the bed. That was completely counterproductive…

「Ah! D-don’t come out!」

As I was wondering what to do—so much for pretending not to see— a stuffed toy crawled out from under the bed, and Chryse shouted at it.

「Ahh. …You picked up another one, huh.」

Seeing that, I realized I’d gotten it wrong. What Chryse had hidden wasn’t risqué prints to hide from prying eyes, but the kind of thing you’re told to “put back where it belongs.”

And on top of that, it was one of the “just the soul” cases.

「Uu… Please don’t tell Nina‑san…」
「She’ll tell you to return it to where it came from, yeah.」

Ever since we discovered the existence of souls by magic, Chryse had taken a strong interest in the souls of living beings. She eventually created a spell to perceive souls without using moonlight, and now she researches the souls of all kinds of creatures.

According to her, a soul’s size, strength, and even color differ wildly by creature. At first she seemed to be trying to trace her own roots by that, but even within the same species a soul’s radiance varies so much by individual that it turned out to be no help at all.

「What soul is it today?」
「An armored bear…」

When you study the souls of wild creatures, you sometimes come across animals right on the verge of death. Every now and then Chryse would bring back the souls of such creatures.

「Honestly, Nina’s right—we probably should send them on right away…」

We don’t know where the souls of the dead go. Do they rise to the heavens, return to the earth, reincarnate like I did—or simply vanish?

What we do know is that almost everyone besides me—most living things—don’t retain memories of previous lives. And if that’s the case, then whatever happens, it’s scarcely different from simple disappearance.

「That may be true, but… this little one said it still wanted to live, so I couldn’t help it.」

Wearing a mourning look, Chryse let the little stuffed bear—twitching and lively—play against her hand.

「You can understand what a soul says?」
「Kind of… vaguely.」

Either way, it never lasts forever. The souls Chryse brings home eventually disappear. Whether it’s because they’re satisfied or because the spell’s effect wears off, I don’t know.

「But I see. So that’s why you’ve been so quiet lately. I figured it was because you got your heart broken by Ara…」

By the time I realized I’d put my foot in my mouth, it was too late. Chryse’s expression darkened before my eyes.

「S-sorry. That was insensitive of me.」
「No, it’s… true. I did like Ara‑kun.」

With a complicated look, Chryse knit her brows.

「But seeing him confess to my mom, I kind of… those feelings just faded, I guess.」
「Ah…」

Her feelings were probably a very faint thing, closer to admiration.
If they had been allowed to build longer, perhaps they might have grown into a great flower of love—but unfortunately they seem to have fallen to pieces.

「More than that… finding out that Daddy and Mom… don’t, you know, like each other that way… That was the real shock.」

Hugging the armored bear plush tight, Chryse let her feelings spill out.

「You’ve said you’re not a married couple many times, but even so… I thought there was a special bond between you and Mom. That you… loved each other.」

I sat down beside Chryse and stroked her hair, which had turned completely pink.

「Yeah. You’re not wrong about that.」

Chryse peered up at my face, half in doubt.

「But the “like” between me and Nina is a bit complicated.」

Now then, how should I explain this?

「…You know I was married before, right?」
「Yes. Ai‑san and Yuuki‑san, right?」

Chryse nodded at my tentative opening. I’d told those stories several times before, and she’d likely heard them from Yuuka or Nina as well.

「They were both human. They passed away in spans shorter than you’ve lived so far. In those short lives… they loved me as if burning themselves up.」

Seventy‑nine and fifty‑four. Lives cut far too short. I wonder what would have happened if they’d been able to use the anti‑ageing magic Inis uses.

「Nina watched that by my side the whole time.」
「So she’s holding back out of consideration for them?」

I shook my head.

「There used to be an elf named Light Blue in this village.」
「Yuu‑nee’s mother, right?」

Oh, she knew that too. I don’t recall telling her, so she must have heard it from Yuuka.

「An elf who joins with a human loses her longevity and lives as humans do. About fifty years after giving birth to Yuuka, Light Blue died. …She hadn’t known that, but even if she had, she laughed that she would still have loved Yutaka and borne Yuuka.」

There are many kinds of strength.
Thinking back, she may have been the strongest woman of all my students.

「How deep do you think that love is?」
「…I don’t know.」

Chryse answered honestly.

「I don’t know either. I’m a dragon. Even if Nina and I were to be together, she wouldn’t lose her lifespan. So… we don’t know. Neither I nor Nina knows what it is to be in love so deeply you’d think it’s worth losing your life.」

That’s something I’ve been thinking about ever since thirty‑five years ago, when I lost sight of my origin and Nina lit a fire under me.
If you ask whether I like Nina, I do. If you ask whether I love her, I do. And, as I dodged when Mel asked the other day, it isn’t the kind of feeling you have for a sibling or family.
Unless I’m mistaken, Nina and I both love each other as the opposite sex… or so I think.

But it’s a calm love—like floating on a windless sea, like dozing in a tree’s shade stirring in a gentle breeze.
It isn’t the kind of love that sears like a body‑scorching flame, that wears you thin like a cutting wind, that you cannot help but seek.

「Nina can’t accept that as love. She would never say she likes me, not even if her mouth were torn open.」

She watched Ai from the closest place. In some ways, being the same sex, she may have been even closer than I was.
So she can’t forgive it—herself, for not being able to hold a feeling stronger than Ai’s.
I’ve never heard her say it outright, but that’s probably how it is.

「But doesn’t that… make it hard on Mom?」
「No. If it were hard, that would actually be fine. The problem is that it isn’t.」

Chryse tilted her head at my choice of words.

「What do you mean?」
「Being in pain means you’re dissatisfied with how things are. In other words, you want to get closer. That’s how much you like them.」

Nina said she was happy as things are. I don’t think there was any lie in that.
It isn’t that she lacks the courage to take a step—she’s simply fulfilled by the relationship as it is now.

「But ours isn’t like that. Other people might find it a strange relationship, though.」

That’s why Nina goes out of her way to hide her feelings for me.

「But that’s our relationship.」
「…Honestly, I still don’t really understand.」

Furrowing her brows in a serious look, Chryse peered into my face.

「Daddy and Mom really do love each other, and being together makes you happy—right?」
「Yeah. At least, that’s how I see it.」

When I answered that, Chryse’s face brightened all at once.

「Then I’ll ask Mom, too—」
「Hold on. If you’re going to ask, wait until the dust has settled and do it at some random moment.」

If she asked right now, it’d be obvious I’d had this kind of talk with her.

「Eeh—」

Chryse pouted her lips in displeasure, but she grudgingly went along.

「…Well, knowing Mom, if I went now she probably wouldn’t admit it honestly anyway.」
「Probably not.」

With that, we both laughed.

「Oh—then keep it a secret that I’ve been calling her Mom, too—」

It was right then.

Clang, clang, clang—the bell rang out, loud and urgent.