Chapter 30: The Ice of Words / Recording

「By the way, Sig, I've got a lot to ask you…」

While wracking my brain over the aftermath of the rats’ devastation—cleaning up the carcasses, repairing the fences and houses they’d wrecked, treating the wounded, and removing the ice wall sealing the icehouse entrance—I put the question to the lizardman boy.

「Why did you come to help us?」
「Why? …Wait, are you serious?」

Sig shot back in a thoroughly affronted tone.

「I figured the rats would attack the village sooner or later—and only when they knew they could win. So I went to gather forces for when that happened. …I thought you, of all people, would get that, Sensei.」
「Huh, why?」
「Because you looked me in the eyes then, remember?」

He must mean the moment just before he left the village.
Sorry. I only looked back because you were staring and I had no idea why.

But now that he says it, I recall his expression then—neither displeasure, disappointment, nor disgust… it looked like trust.

「So you put on a show of falling out because the rats were eavesdropping. …But how did you know they’d attack the village?」

It wasn’t just himself—he’d roped in lizardmen, Lycos Centaurs, even elves. Without firm conviction, he couldn’t have gone that far.

「…They’re a lot like me. Weak. Small… and they can’t stand that.」

Gazing into the void, Sig spoke with a hint of self‑derision.

「They don’t care about their own. …But that’s true of lizardmen too. The weak are at fault. So you can only get stronger. No one thinks to save comrades who are dying. I was the same. …I was.」

Then he shifted his gaze to me, and—

「—until I met a dragon who’s softhearted to a ridiculous degree!」

He flashed an open, guileless smile. It might have been the first time I’d seen Sig look so innocently happy.

「I realized they were always listening in on us. So I put on a little act and went back home. Conveniently, I had a way to do it.」

With a snap, Sig spread his wings as he spoke. Wings… wings.

「Remember when I called us the six‑limb crew?」

Right, that was a thing—about Sig, Rin, Luka, and me.
In my previous world, all vertebrates had four limbs. Some, like humans, evolved forelimbs into arms; others, like birds, into wings. But in this world, there seem to be both four‑limbed beings like humans and elves and six‑limbed ones like fire dragons, lizardmen, and Lycos Centaurs.

Mermaids are tricky, but I suspect the waist fin is a transformed pair of legs.

「So I figured I could turn my arms into wings like you do, Sensei.」

With that, Sig spread his wings to show me.

「Still, I’m surprised Beor-san agreed to help.」
「Oh, that was easy. I’m stronger. So of course he follows. That’s how lizardmen think.」
「You beat him!?」

Yuuki’s eyes flew wide in surprise. Sig had gotten much stronger, but I still couldn’t picture him besting Beor-san. Those four consecutive strikes from that massive frame carried terrifying force and speed—Amata would struggle in a straight fight.

「No way I’d lose. They don’t use weapons, so they won’t even throw stones. All I had to do was fly at a range they could never reach and spit fire.」

Ah.

「Is… that even allowed?」
「They called me a coward plenty. Said winning like that isn’t real strength. But when I asked what ‘real strength’ even is, they all fell silent.」

Well, of course. The pinnacle of the strength they believe in is the fire dragon, and Sig’s tactic was exactly how fire dragons hunt.

「After that I used your scale to keep in touch with Violet and had the elves watch the rats’ movements. Luka had gone home too, so I figured it’d be about time—and pulled the forces together.」
「Then the thing about Utai being near death—was that part of it too?」

Had that been a lie to create an opening and make the rats act? When I looked to Rin, she slowly shook her head.

「Utai… right after Sensei flew off, she… yeah.」

Rin scrunched her brows tight, holding back tears.
She’s not the kind of child who could put on that act for a lie or a joke.

「Utai probably hung on… until she could see us.」
「…I see.」

Even so, I wanted to believe it was just a joke.
That all-too-familiar sense of loss—the cold creeping in from my fingertips, as if something inside me were ebbing away.

「Maybe… she didn’t want Onii-chan to see her at the very end.」

Yuuki murmured, barely above a whisper.

「You knew?」
「I kind of… had that feeling.」

Now that she says it, she was the one who hurried me to head back then.

「I think… I kind of understand how Utai-san felt.」

Yuuki said it and clenched her own fists tight.
It was a gesture like a prayer to something.


* * *


「Onii-chan… do you have a minute?」

Yuuki came by my house that night.
Somehow, I’d been expecting her.
Careful not to wake Nina, who must have been exhausted and was fast asleep, I stepped out and followed after Yuuki.

「Um… um, so…」

She finally spoke up in the plaza before the icehouse.
We’d thoroughly burned the mountain of rat corpses for fear of disease, so there was hardly a trace of the day’s carnage left.
Bathed in moonlight, Yuuki looked up at me.

「I’ve… been thinking about it. What you told me that day, Onii-chan.」

I immediately understood what she meant.

“You’re the same. In less than a hundred years, you’ll leave me behind too.”

I still hadn’t managed to apologize for the words I’d hurled at Yuuki that day.

「I’m sorry, Yuuki, I—」
「No. I’m the one who should be sorry.」

But before I could apologize, Yuuki bowed her head first.

「I wasn’t thinking at all about how you felt. About the one who gets left behind.」

That wasn’t Yuuki’s fault. No one finds it easy to think that far ahead—to a time long after their own death.

「One who wears icicles for clothing, who makes autumn leaves fall, who melts in the spring sunlight—Jack Frost, spirit of snow and ice. Please, show yourself before me.」

When Yuuki appealed toward the icehouse, white flecks began to fall despite it still being autumn. With no wind, they swirled together into one spot and took the shape of a small snowman.

「It’s been… a while, hasn’t it?」
「Hoo, hoo, hoo.」

When I greeted Jack Frost, it let out an owl‑like sound from the crescent‑shaped opening that was its mouth.

「Jack Frost. Could you bring that here?」

At Yuuki’s words, Jack Frost stared fixedly at her, then turned its gaze to me. As always, those hollow, pit‑like eyes gave no hint of thought.

「Hoo.」

But perhaps something clicked within it; with a single hoot, Jack Frost slipped into the icehouse.

「What’s in there?」
「Something like… a secret passed down in the Sword Clan.」

I couldn’t help asking, and that’s what Yuuki said. There was something like that? No one had breathed a word to me.

After a short wait, Jack Frost emerged from the icehouse hugging a chunk of ice as big as it could carry.

「Onii-chan, try melting it.」
「…Are you sure?」

Jack Frost had the block clutched tight; if I tried to melt it, I’d inevitably melt Jack Frost along with it. Well, I knew full well it wouldn’t die even if I did.

Seeing Jack Frost give a little nod, I did as told and breathed flame.
With a sizzle, the small Jack Frost and the ice in its arms vaporized in an instant.

「—It has been a while, Sensei.」

At that voice, I froze head to toe.

Soft and gentle, like the morning sun.
I could never forget it.

It was Ai’s voice.

「Ai!?」
「Shh. Keep it down, Onii-chan.」

Yuuki pressed a finger to her lips to shush my shout.

「If you are hearing this voice, then I am likely no longer by your side.」

At Ai’s next words, I understood everything.
It was a message left behind—an echo of her voice, frozen by magic.

「Has it been ten years since then? Or a hundred? If it’s been very short… that would make me a little sad.」

Four hundred and fifty‑four years, Ai.
It’s been four hundred and fifty‑four years since you left.

「…That was a lie. Honestly, any number of years would make me sad. Because it would mean I left you alone that long.」

Her cadence and tone were exactly as I remembered.

「But I’m sure—even now, you’re indulging my selfish wish. Ah, um, if I’m completely off the mark, please don’t listen any further. Okay?」

I didn’t know what exactly she meant by her ‘selfish wish.’ I could hardly recall her ever asking anything selfish of me. But to stop listening? I could never.

「Maybe… it’s Utai‑chan. Or Jilgo‑chan’s children. Or someone I’ve never met at all. …Or else…」

There, Ai hesitated and paused.

「No—it doesn’t matter who. I’m sure the one at your side loves you… just like I did.」

At those words I couldn’t help glancing at Yuuki. She’d been staring intently at where Jack Frost had stood; then, noticing my gaze, she flushed and gave a sheepish, melty smile.

「Please, love her. Forget about me… If you really could forget me entirely, that would make me a little sad. But don’t worry about me.」

Dragons have good memories. Even after nearly five hundred years, I could vividly recall each of Ai’s expressions. As if she were right before me, I found her phantom in the empty air.

Modest. Demure. Yet smiling more blissfully than anyone.

「Be happy, Sensei. That is all I wish for. All I think of is your happiness.」

Looking up at me, Ai said so.
Her voice cut off there, and the presence that had been drifting in the air snapped away.

「…I didn’t have enough resolve.」

Yuuki spoke, almost to herself.

「Ai Onee-chan kept thinking of Sensei even after she’d be gone. I never even considered that.」

Then she turned to face me and looked straight up at me.

「But I won’t lose. I love you, Onii-chan. I’ll stay by your side forever. I’ll do what Ai Onee-chan couldn’t. If you can only think of me like a little sister, or like a daughter, that’s fine.」

Her resolute, steady gaze held me fast.

「So… is it okay if I keep loving you?」

Her confidence crumbled almost at once, and she asked me, clinging a little.

「…You got me. I surrender.」

Hands raised in defeat, I answered her.
The moment I’d prioritized her life over the villagers’, my heart’s course was decided.
And with Ai brought into this as well, I had no excuse left at all.

「If you asked me whether I’m drawn to you as a woman, I still couldn’t give a clear answer.」

Nina would probably say, “Even now?” But that’s my honest feeling. If I were the sort of man who could switch his heart so nimbly, I wouldn’t have dithered for over four hundred years.

「But, Yuuki—I do love you, and… I want you by my side.」
「Onii-chan!」

The instant I said it, Yuuki leapt into my arms.

「Thank you—I love you!」

The way she pressed her cheek to mine, voice bubbling with joy, hadn’t changed since she was little.

「That habit of jumping into hugs… you never did break it.」

I was glad to feel it again, and at the same time I couldn’t help a wry smile at how childlike she still was.

「…When I was a kid, sure. But as an adult, you’re the only one I do this with, Onii-chan.」

Tilting her head, Yuuki looked up at me from under her lashes as she said it.
At that gaze and the soft warmth pressed against me, my heart thumped hard.

「Or did you think I did this with other people too?」
「No, I didn’t think that, but…」

Now that she mentions it, I’d never actually seen Yuuki cling to anyone but me. And when I pictured it… I realized the image bothered me far more than I expected.

—At this rate, I might fall faster than I thought.
Should I lament my own flimsy resolve, or be wary of Yuuki’s charm?

I wrestled with it, just a little.