Chapter 34: Restart

Dragon Era 872
「Hup... hup.」

I crawl along the floor, moving down the hallway using only the strength of my hands.
The wheelchair Sensei gave me is handy, but it can’t go up steps and it’s a bit noisy.
So when I want to move quietly like now, I don’t use it.

「Phew... made it.」

What I reached was a mystery room. Nobody uses it, but we’re told not to go in—a strange room.

The door was locked, but that wasn’t a problem. If I pop the lid off the pouch at my waist and use magic, the water will float softly and turn into a master key. I opened the door without trouble and slipped inside before anyone could see me.

「Wow...」

The sight that spread before me made me blurt out in delight.
Everything was unified in vivid blues and greens, with cute furnishings decorated with shells and coral.
It was as if it had been tailored just for me, a perfect match for my tastes.
When I grow up, I want to live in a room like this. It was like someone had taken that daydream and given it shape.

I wondered what kind of person had lived here, and, curious, I opened the desk drawer.
Inside, it was unbelievably messy.

Reddish pebbles, some kind of leaf, pale‑blue pressed flowers, silvery hair from some animal I couldn’t identify... a jumble of things stuffed in where I couldn’t tell if they were trash or not.

It was kept so tidy wherever you could see at a glance, and yet the hidden places were like this. I felt a little disillusioned with the room’s owner.

Thinking there might be something else, I rummaged through the desk, and from the back I pulled out a thick, red book.

「Whoa...」

I opened it without thinking and cried out for the opposite reason: it was even more of a mess than the drawer. Books are supposed to be written horizontally from the top left, or vertically from the top right.

The way this one was used was a complete mess. Each passage was written vertical, horizontal, diagonal, sometimes even upside‑down.

The contents were awful, too. Probably the first thing written is this: Dragon Era 637, March 25. I got a book from that person. I’m happy. I’m going to start keeping a diary today.

And right below that is this: Dragon Era 640. April 1. Forehead strong.
It’s supposed to be a diary, and yet three years jump between the first and second entries. Also, what does ‘forehead’ even mean here...?

Besides those, mixed in with the diary are little memo scribbles, drawings, maps, and things I can’t really figure out, and then there are spreads that use the whole two pages just to write ‘Hello’—the way it’s used is way too free.

And yet I couldn’t tear my eyes away from that chaotic book. There were hardly any pictures—if there were, they were doodles with nothing to do with the writing. The order was scrambled, it was hard to read, and there were plenty of parts I couldn’t make sense of, but...

What was written there was the raw voice of some woman I didn’t know. Words she couldn’t say even if she wanted to, words she probably couldn’t consult anyone about, were set down honestly.

What especially caught my eye was the ‘that person’ that kept appearing in the text.
I think the one who wrote this probably liked ‘that person.’
But ‘that person’ had someone else they liked—‘that girl.’

To the writer, both ‘that person’ and ‘that girl’ were very important.
She wanted to tell them how she felt but couldn’t. Being together hurt. Even so, she wanted them to look at her.

Those feelings came through from the edges of the lines, and I chased the words, heart pounding.

And when I finally reached the last page, a shock ran through me.
To the little, cute girl who is reading this.
It was like she knew I’d be the one to read this book.
Probably just a coincidence, though...

There were lots of fine‑print cautions lined up there—exactly the kind of thing Tia‑sensei would say.
Maybe because her body is tiny, Tia‑sensei’s words are nitpicky about everything. I like big, gentle Ruful‑sensei better.

But the one I love most is Yuuka‑sensei. She’s super strong and cool and feels like a real grown‑up woman. The one I don’t like much is Sensei, I guess. The red Sensei. He’s always getting scolded by Nina‑sensei and comes off kind of pathetic.
I don’t really know why, but when I see Sensei getting scolded by Nina‑sensei, I get all irritated. And he looks the weakest, too.

If I obeyed the notes written here, could I become like Yuuka‑sensei?
For some reason that thought popped into my head, and I started reading.
Mixed in with things like ‘always keep things organized’ and ‘keep yourself tidy,’ there were notes on how to use magic and things you ought to do.

Well, there were a lot I didn’t understand at all.
Research into humanization magic that doesn’t pay with your voice? What would you even use that for?

I don’t really get it, but maybe I’ll try starting with the ‘put things in order’ part.
Just as I was about to close the book, I spotted tiny letters at the page’s edge—so small you wouldn’t notice unless you really looked.

The line ‘Today, to that person’ had been crossed out with a double rule, and below that, in even smaller writing: ‘This is mine alone. If you’re frustrated, then either remember it, or get them to do the same for you.’

I had no idea what it meant. I didn’t, but the moment I saw those words, my heart thumped.

「That’s unfair.」

The word slipped out of my mouth without me even knowing what it meant.
Unfair. Unfair. Unfair. I didn’t know what, or who, any of it was about, but that feeling ruled my heart.

I could feel it clearly—something ineffable, like a small flame, kindling in my chest.